Ever have one of those dreams where someone you love does something so terrible that you wake up furious at them? I know not everyone experiences this, but it happens to me quite often. It feels as if their actions in the dream are as real as if they happened in waking life. My husband can never quite wrap his head around this, unable to grasp why I might spend a day irate with him because he cheated in a dream or broke one of my cherished tree ornaments—both of which are, in the moment, equally egregious to me.

Last night was another such instance, but this time it involved thing2 doing something completely out of character and absolutely forbidden. I won’t divulge all the specifics here to protect some private details, but part of the dream involved him throwing my favorite coffee mug against the wall in a temper tantrum, shattering it.

Upon waking, I was enveloped in anger and knew there had to be a resolution to dissipate these feelings. My boys understand these emotions better than my husband does—they know I need to process the anger to move past it.

However, I adhere to a strict rule of not administering corporal punishment in anger. So, I took some time to calm down with a cup of tea and began issuing commands only once I was sure I was no longer seething. This preparation allowed me to approach the situation with a clearer head. Thing1 helped by securing thing2 to the wall in our playroom, setting the stage for the necessary punishment.

By the time I finished my tea, I was ready to enter the playroom and deliver a measured response to thing2. For safety and balance, I had thing1 act as my conscience, empowered to intervene if he felt I was being too harsh. He did so once, and I valued his insight, adjusting accordingly.

After the punishment, thing2 and I shared a moment of reconciliation, cuddling and watching television while thing1 and houseboy prepared breakfast—French toast, thing2’s favorite. This process not only helped me overcome the residual anger from the dream but also reinforced the deep trust and understanding within our dynamic.

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