Why today? The reason is obvious. I couldn’t think of a better way to say happy birthday to a certain someone who really deserves to be honored with an act this degrading and delicious. No, we’re not naming names. But those in the know… know.

So what exactly is Make Him Fuck the Couch Day?

It’s a lesson in humiliation. A favorite of mine. Sometimes, before I peg him, I make him hump the furniture. I’ll lean in, whisper how disgusting he is, call him a filthy little fucktoy, a desperate dog humping whatever he’s allowed. I’ll laugh at how his cock twitches for it, how he grinds and moans while trying to penetrate something that will never want him. It breaks him beautifully.

But it’s not just for warm-up. No, couch-humping is also one of my favorite punishments. When I’m taking a man in front of his wife or girlfriend, and he needs brought down a few levels, I point to the couch. He knows what’s coming. I say, “Go on, try to fuck that. Show us what your cock’s good for.” And we watch as he humiliates himself, rutting the furniture like it might give him affection. Spoiler: it won’t.

The original inspiration? Let’s just say it involved a latex glove lubed and stuffed between the couch cushions. It’s crude. It’s brilliant. And if you’re going to make him cum (with permission), it’s practical. If it’s his furniture, who cares? If it’s a hotel, his parents’ place, or yours? Catch it in the glove. Clean-up is half the shame.

My Command:
To all the subs… I am officially commanding you: Go fuck the couch today. Grind into it. Make a mess. Be a pathetic little hump toy. It’s your contribution to our special birthday celebration.

Happy Make Him Fuck the Couch Day, my darlings. Don’t forget to moan.

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