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My Mother-in-law noticed the marks on my husband’s body and now she thinks I’m a freak!
Dear Mistress Geena:
I’ve been dominating my husband sexually for several years now. We started out really light, a little bondage, some feathers, etc. Eventually, we graduated to some pretty severe play. Sometimes the things I do to him leave marks on his body. He loves it and is always asking me to hit him harder, more, and even wants me to leave marks. In fact, part of what turns him on is when I take pictures of the marks my whips and crops leave on his skin.
During the holidays we travelled and stayed with his parents for about a week. We stayed in his old bedroom, which was down the hall from the bathroom. One morning he was walking back from taking a shower with only a towel wraped around him, and his mother saw the marks on his back. I’ll admit, they were fairly fresh and he had really enjoyed me going to town with a new whip he bought me. I’m glad she didn’t see what his ass looked like, but now she thinks I’m a freak. Is she right?
Sincerely,
Mortified Daughter-in-law
Dear Mortified Daughter-in-law,
First of all, let me applaud you for having the courage to share your concerns with me. It takes a lot of strength to open up about your personal and intimate life, especially when it involves something as taboo as dominating your husband sexually. It shows that you are not afraid to embrace your desires and explore your sexuality, which is a wonderful and empowering thing.
Now, let me address your question – is your mother-in-law right to think that you are a freak? The short answer is no. Let me explain why.
Sexual dynamics and preferences vary greatly from couple to couple. What works for one couple may not work for another. As long as it is consensual and both parties are enjoying themselves, there is no right or wrong way to express your sexuality. In fact, exploring and fulfilling each other’s desires can bring couples closer together and strengthen their bond.
It is clear from your letter that you and your husband have a strong and fulfilling sexual relationship. You have gradually explored and pushed boundaries, and your husband has willingly gone along with it, even asking for more. This is a testament to the trust, communication, and understanding in your marriage. Your mother-in-law may not understand or accept your sexual dynamic, but that does not make it wrong or abnormal.
Furthermore, it is not your mother-in-law’s place to judge your sexual preferences or your relationship with her son. It is between you and your husband, and as long as both of you are happy and fulfilled, that is all that matters. Your mother-in-law may have her own opinions and beliefs, but it is important to remember that they are not a reflection of your worth or your relationship.
I can understand why you may feel mortified by your mother-in-law’s reaction. It can be difficult to face judgement and disapproval from someone you care about. However, it is important to remember that her reaction is a reflection of her own beliefs and prejudices, and not a reflection of who you are as a person.
It may be helpful to have a conversation with your mother-in-law and explain your dynamic with your husband to her. This can give her a better understanding of your relationship and hopefully ease her concerns. However, if she is not open to having this conversation or accepting your sexual preferences, it is important to set boundaries and not let her judgement affect your relationship with your husband.
I would also like to address the issue of marks on your husband’s body. While it is completely normal for a consensual BDSM dynamic to involve marks and bruises, it is important to prioritize safety and consent. You and your husband probably have clear boundaries and safe words in place, and understand it is important to always listen to and respect them. If your mother-in-law has concerns about the marks, it may be a good idea to be open and, without going into specific details, explain to her how those measures keep her son from being harmed.
In the end, what matters most is that you and your husband have a happy and healthy relationship. Do not let anyone else’s opinions or judgments affect your dynamic or your happiness. Embrace your desires and continue to explore and nurture your sexual relationship with your husband. Remember that there is no shame in consensual and fulfilling sexual dynamics, and never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
I hope this has helped to ease some of your concerns. Keep embracing your sexuality and never be afraid to communicate your needs and desires with your partner. As long as it is consensual and brings you both pleasure, there is nothing wrong with it.
My Boyfriend Likes to be Spanked – How do I Really Punish Him?
Dear Mistress Geena:
My boyfriend is naturally submissive. We’ve been dating for nearly a year, and we enjoy lots of hot sex, including me spanking, paddling, and whipping him. The problem is, all of that just makes him incredibly hard but doesn’t do anything to punish him.
I’m trying to find ways to correct his behavior outside the bedroom. For example, he’s constantly getting behind on the dishes. I started administering punishment spankings, but he just gets off on it in the end. What can I do to punish him when spanking is more of a reward?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Mistress
Dear Frustrated Mistress,
Fret no more, for punishing a submissive who thrives on pain is manageable. You simply need to think outside the buns!
So that might sound like a fast-food slogan, but it is also great advice for any mistress who finds herself needing to punish a masochist. By definition, he derives sexual gratification from his own pain. This can be lots of fun for play, as you can administer severe impact using various tools. I love getting my hands on a little masochistic slut!
However, you need to move beyond the pain when punishing them. If you want to change their behavior, the punishment you administer needs to be something he wants to avoid, not something he desires. Here are some methods to help you train him to associate a particular lousy behavior with unwanted consequences.
4 ways to punish your masochistic submissive (Plus 2 Bonus Ideas)
In general, I believe in gentle femdom. I’m kind and generous, which comes across in how I administer sexual activities or punishments. These punishments might be weighted toward that gentle end of the spectrum. However, with some imagination, you can quickly adapt to make these as harsh, extreme, or brutal as you want!
#1 Don’t Spank Him!
If he really wants you to tie him up and make him scream, or put him over your lap and spank him until his cheeks are bright red, just don’t! His punishment could be an end to any type of impact play until he improves.
# 2 Chastity
Lock him up and keep him locked as a punishment. Tease him, play with his little package, but don’t unlock him until you feel he’s improved his behavior. Then, tell him what he needs to improve to get his cock out of the cage.
I once had a submissive in training who had a particularly annoying habit I wanted to break. The little worm kept sneaking cigarettes when he thought I wouldn’t notice. I locked him away for 10 days. By the 2nd day, he agreed to stop smoking. After that, he suffered another 8 days, so I could ensure he knew I meant business. I told him that if I ever caught a whiff of cigarettes on him, he’d be locked for a month. It worked!
#3 Bind & Tease with orgasm denial
Orgasm Control can be lots of fun, especially if you have considerable time to administer his punishment. Make him strip and tie him down – however you wish. Just make sure his cock is exposed. Make him hard and bring him close to cumming – then stop and do something else, leaving him alone. If you can keep this up for hours or even an entire day, he’ll go crazy and agree to be good.
# 4 Tickle Me Submissive
A variation on number 3, this punishment works on any ticklish guy. First, tie him down naked, and expose as many of his delicate parts as possible. Then, you can incorporate the edging of #3 with tickling him, and he’ll go out of his mind.
Don’t be afraid to go at it. Bring him to hysterics and tears before you give him a break from tickling. Like the standard Bind & Tease, you can draw this out over an entire day. He’ll be sure to improve his behavior after such a relentless session!
Bonus – Here are 2 ideas on how to punish a masochist with pain
Sometimes I just need to administer some pain to get out some aggression, soothe my soul on a rainy day, or simply because I need some exercise. When you’re administering punishments to your little maso-sub, pain can still be a handy tool!
5 – Increase the pain
I have a lot of fun increasing the pain level and seeing how much a guy can take. With a masochist, you need to be careful, as they may be less likely to invoke their safeword. Make sure you know what you’re doing and do not cross any lines. For me, blood or permanent physical damage is off-limits.
6 – Involve someone else
So maybe he likes getting spanked, whipped, and caned. If you need to punish him and want to use your extensive collection of BDSM tools, why not involve a third person? Doing so can add a level of humiliation that your submissive may wish to avoid.
This doesn’t always work, so you’ll need to consider your sub’s particular kinks. I have one submissive masochist I am working with to help him improve behaviors he wants to change. I was having a hard time finding a punishment method that worked – he just thrived on anything I did to him.
Until I introduced a male to the punishment session. I had a strong young man, another client of mine, join us one day to help me administer punishment to the misbehaving client. He disliked the experience of having a man use my tools on him; I’ve only had to invoke this punishment one more time in the five years he’s been a client.
In conclusion – be creative!
Whatever you do, if you’re in a situation where you can influence a submissive masochist’s behavior, you’ll need to get creative to find methods that work. First, know your sub – learn his kinks and his dislikes. Then, once you tailor your punishment to fit the masochist, there are no limits to what you can accomplish!
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Mizz Geena
Mizz Geena is a seasoned professional Dominatrix with nearly two decades of experience in the field. Her career spans in-person sessions, phone interactions, and now, virtual domination sessions, reflecting her adaptability and dedication to her craft. Geena specializes in a unique blend of gentle dominance paired with a strict hand, a style she describes as “Gentle Therapeutic Femdom with a Sting!” This approach encourages, entices, and arouses her submissive partners, ensuring a fulfilling and empowering experience for all involved. View Full Profile
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