We had a new friend over a couple nights ago. Perry. Nice enough guy. Works as a handyman, mid-twenties, friendly, easy to talk to. He has that laid-back confidence that comes from being comfortable in his own skin.

And yes, the thing everyone notices about him is his size.

I mean, it is big. Long, thick, unmistakable. The kind of anatomy that looks almost out of place on an otherwise normal, fit guy. Like it belongs on someone twice his size. You notice it immediately, and then you notice that he is very aware of the effect it has on people.

Annie definitely noticed. I’m sure she’ll share her side of that experience at some point.

At one point during the evening, there was a break. The bedroom door was opened, and Perry and I ended up in the kitchen together. We shared a bowl while I put together some snacks. It was casual, relaxed, almost domestic, which made the conversation that followed even funnier.

I asked him if being that big was a blessing.

He thought about it for a second before answering. He said it can be, but only with the right people. He talked about how women like Annie, who genuinely enjoy size and know how to relax into it, are the reason he can appreciate what he has. Too often, he said, things stall out early. A lot of women are curious but hesitant. Others try and then stop once things get uncomfortable. For him, sex can end up feeling frustrating instead of fun.

He mentioned that some men can take him too.

I glanced at him when he said that, and we made eye contact. I didn’t even need to say anything. There was absolutely no chance. None. The look on my face must have said it all because he laughed and waved it off.

Then he shared his favorite complaint.

Apparently, he enjoys being submissive. Likes being put on all fours, likes being ordered around. The problem, he said, is that when he’s crawling, his cock hangs so low that it sometimes drags or rubs against the floor.

I completely lost it.

I could not stop laughing. The idea of someone having that specific problem was just too much. He shrugged and laughed with me, clearly used to reactions like that.

It was one of those moments where the whole thing felt oddly normal. Two guys in a kitchen, talking about anatomy, power dynamics, and very specific logistical issues, while my wife waited in the other room.

Yeah. This is my life now.

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