It’s a strange thing to wrap your head around, being used by someone else while your wife watches. I don’t mean strange in a bad way, just strange in the way that makes you stop afterward and think, “Wow, my life really went in this direction.”
It’s happened more than once now. Annie is always present, always in control, even when she isn’t the one doing the work. She watches closely. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes standing nearby, sometimes giving quiet instructions or commentary. She never looks away. That’s the part that gets me the most.
At first, my brain didn’t know where to put all the feelings. There’s embarrassment, because you are exposed in a very specific way. There’s vulnerability, because you are giving up control to someone who is not your primary partner. And then there’s this unexpected excitement that comes from knowing your wife chose this for you and is enjoying every second of it.
Annie doesn’t act jealous. She acts pleased. She studies my reactions, my breathing, the way my body responds. Later, she’ll reference it casually, like it was a perfectly normal thing to witness. Sometimes she’ll tease me about it. Sometimes she’ll praise me for taking it well. Either way, it’s clear she likes watching me be handled.
I think what really messes with my head is realizing how intentional it all is. This isn’t random. This isn’t about replacing her. It’s about control, trust, and the power of being seen at your most vulnerable by the person who knows you best.
It’s weird, sure. But it’s also intimate in a way I never expected. And the fact that she keeps wanting it to happen again tells me everything I need to know about how much she enjoys watching me give myself over like that.
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