There once was a boy named duckie,
Whose life was bare and lucky.
He almost never wore pants at all,
Since his cock was huge and liked to sprawl.

But one cold morning he gave it a try,
Slipped into jeans with a hopeful sigh.
He muttered, “how hard can clothing be?”
Then found out the truth quite painfully.

He tugged the zipper nice and slow,
But his monster cock said, “I refuse to go.”
It flopped and swung like a wayward trout,
And would not tuck itself inside the route.

Duckie pushed and coaxed and begged,
He even tried tucking it down one leg.
Finally he forced the zipper tight,
And that is when the world went bright.

The metal teeth clamped down with a zip,
Caught the tip of his heroic whip.
Duckie screamed in seven languages,
Invented five more, and cursed his bandages.

He hopped around like a wounded deer,
Crying, “my dick is stuck, oh dear.”
Neighbors watched from behind their blinds,
Pretending they could not hear his whines.

After much sweat and tragic groans,
He freed the beast from denim stones.
It popped out proud, triumphant, red,
Like it had just come back from the dead.

Duckie swore he would never again
Trap his giant friend inside a pen.
He tossed the jeans straight into the bin,
And declared, “pants are a mortal sin.”

Now he lives the way he prefers to be,
Bare, happy, floppy, and zipper free.