I have always enjoyed collecting toys. Not because I need them, but because they make a point. A very important point.
No matter how proud a submissive man is of what hangs between his legs, I can reach into a drawer and find something bigger. If he thinks length matters, I have something longer. If he thinks thickness is impressive, I have something that makes him reconsider that opinion very quickly. Thinks I’m going to be impressed with his big black cock? Meh, I have one too!
One of the things I enjoy most about femdom is challenging assumptions. Men are taught from a young age that their erection is a symbol of power, confidence, and importance. Many carry those ideas with them long into adulthood. Then they find themselves standing in front of a dominant woman who calmly straps on something that completely changes the conversation.
The lesson has never really been about size. The lesson is about authority.
What fascinates me is watching the moment a submissive realizes that the source of power was never attached to his body in the first place. The confidence he placed in his erection suddenly looks very different when a woman is the one holding the power, making the decisions, and directing the experience.
That philosophy is something I explored in more detail in today’s article. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so:
https://femdomu.com/the-erection-was-never-the-source-of-power/
And since we’re celebrating erections this week, I also have something special for the ladies.
I just published a brand-new edition of our Submissive Eye Candy gallery featuring the Zineboys showing off their hardened tools for your viewing pleasure. Some of the boys were very eager to participate, and I think you’ll enjoy the results.
Take a look here:
https://femdomu.com/submissive-eye-candy-aroused-and-obedient/
After all, appreciating an erection and understanding who truly controls it are two entirely different things. đ
I am not sure how true it is on a broad basis that men are taught early on that their power is derived from their erection.
I submit for consideration: The remarkably underwhelming genitalia of the heroes of the ancient world.
Talk about humiliation. Those dudes got encased in marble after an ice bath.
Obviously, I kid. But I do have a serious point here.
I think we are fed a lot of narratives throughout our lives and itâs often really hard to figure out which way is up and which way is down.
I am increasingly convinced that – intentionally or unintentionally- our society (and maybe many others) tries to indoctrinate males with deep inadequacies.
Why?
I dunno.
But if you were the alpha male in a highly intelligent group species, you might find that rather than the high-risk strategy of asserting and maintaining dominance via physical confrontation, it is much better – and effective – to maintain status by engaging in psychological warfare against every youthful male you come across.
And, sometimes it might not be all that malevolent. Sometimes itâs staggering just how hard it is – or was – to find the kind of information that would fend off a paralyzing neurosis.
So, in my case, I did not know that there was such a thing as growers and showers. And, lacking this Oracle from the Gods, I actually grew up with suspicions – but not knowledge – that, Holy Shit, my penis is tiny.
I didnât know why that mattered. Not really.
But I was pretty convinced it did matter. Or was supposed to matter. So I felt judged in every bathroom or locker room.
Then, lo and behold, after being really reservedâŚI started piecing together , based on information provided to me by females, that I was the opposite of tiny.
That was reassuring.
But hereâs the thing. You would think that once a male knows where he ranks compared to average – given the emphasis placed on this point – that would be pretty sticky information.
Turns out: Nope.
They ran a study trying to figure out whether there might be a truth behind the idea of a Porsche or Corvette providing a tell that a male is compensating.
So, what they did is blast these midlife and older males with false information that would position almost every single one of them as having a much smaller than average penis.
Itâs actually a kind of hysterical – and evil – study when you think about it.
So. What they found was that the maleâs they convinced that they had a small cock?
Well. Those males gravitated toward the Porsche and the Corvette and the Chevelle.
(I was so glad the Mustang and Raptor were not on this list. Go Ford.)
The scientists thought that proving the truth behind the compensation narrative was interesting.
What I found interesting?
Assuredly, at some point prior to their fifties, these gullible dipshits had figured out whether they were below average, average or above average.
Itâs actually, usually, females who give males that information.
You would think this feedback would be sticky.
NOPE.
Insecurities are that powerful that subtle gaslighting can make a fifty year old think he has a tiny cock and think that matters.
So. Yeah.
Does this mean we are taught that itâs where male power comes from? Or is it one of the many levers pulled to disable males with insecurities?
I actually think itâs the latter,
I would wager something like 75% males are convinced their erection is below average.
And this is sad.
Because the data is clear: Females systemically think the penis they are looking at is MUCH bigger than it is.
I dunno. Itâs been such a long evolutionary road for all of us that each or us has the requisite tools to be – at least – adequate.
But we are riddled with self-doubt.
Happens to females of course too.
Itâs very clear to me that both genders are, in very large numbers, quite interested in D/s. And this is, actually, entirely natural when you understand how absolutely obsessed primates are with dominance games (i.e., status competition). Given how violence & aggression does seem to be linked to sexuality in most other species on the planet, itâs kind of inevitable that this wiring would run within us as well.
Or how our insane intelligence would have a baby with our total for hornballness, and this would result in us dopamine hacking ourselves on a massive scale into some absolutely wild fetishes.
And that drives more inadequacy.
I actually think a lot of what we are taught is inadequacy.
Especially males.
And itâs not irrational.
Google the Holocaust hidden behind the innocuous sounding words: Y-Chromosome bottleneck.
I think the world flashes bright red with data that far from there being a patrimony built around the penis, you would choose anything but the fate of having a penis if you stood behind Rawlesâ veil of ignorance and REALLY understood the data.
So, my suspicion is that a lot of whatâs going on in D/s is that most males have heard for almost all their lives âYou are inadequateâ and somehow, giving up power in this dynamic, seems to result in the male being symbolically stripped of all status and somehow receiving the message:
âYou are adequate.â
And if we really understood that this is what was going on in ourselves and others, I think we would have so much more compassion for others and, even, ourselves.
“Females systemically think the penis they are looking at is MUCH bigger than it is.” True. Because most women aren’t yet and may never be “all the woman they can be.” They’ve experienced far too few men and cocks.
We long ago eliminated uncertainty, arousal, and emotion, and simply began taking and logging dimensions: standard protocols, comparable over time and boy-to-boy. The inches tell a significant part of the story; not all, but a significant part. As I was taught: “bigger is better.”
As for dominating dildos: goes without saying. SOP. Gotta make him all he can be too!!