something weird has been going on lately.

when Madam first got home after being away for several weeks, i slept like a baby. seriously. the first night i think i was unconscious before my head fully hit the pillow. after all that time without her, my little duck brain was finally convinced the universe was back in balance.

then something changed.

for the past few nights, i crawl into bed, get comfortable, close my eyes and… bam.

wide awake.

not just a little awake either. i am talking full-speed, race-car-brain awake. ideas. projects. things i forgot to do three weeks ago. things i might want to do six months from now. random memories from years ago. all of it flying through my head at about ninety miles an hour.

last night was especially bad.

i am laying there. eyes wide open. heart pounding like i just sprinted up a hill. brain doing cartwheels. and somewhere during all of this i realize i have developed an absolutely epic erection.

and i mean epic.

normally i can feel one arriving. there is a process. some warning. a bit of buildup. usually i can even will the thing away if i need to. years of practice. years of discipline. sometimes i can just decide it is not happening and move on with my day.

not this motherfucker.

this thing showed up like it had been launched from a submarine.

it was raging. it demanded attention. and somewhere in my sleep-deprived state i became convinced there was absolutely no way i was going to fall asleep while it was conducting military operations under the blankets.

so there i am. Madam has been asleep for hours. i am alone in my room. heart racing. brain racing. and apparently part of my anatomy has decided it is now in charge.

what exactly is a duck supposed to do?

well… duckie handled the situation.

and yes, by “handled the situation,” i mean i used my hand and masturbated.

and no, it was not an authorized orgasm.

honestly, i was hoping it would help me sleep.

and truthfully?

it kind of did.

not magically. not instantly. but enough that eventually my brain slowed down and i drifted off.

the important thing is that i am a good boy, even when i am being a bad boy.

so this morning i told Madam.

she listened.

she smirked.

and then she told me to make a doctor’s appointment.

i thought she was overreacting.

she disagreed.

somehow i ended up getting into an urgent care clinic the same day. which meant putting on clothes. always an unpleasant development.

and here is a legit question – why did i have to put on clothes? by the time they were done checking me over, i had spent so much time mostly undressed. doc wanted to look at my penis to confirm it hadn’t suffered damage, it was fine too. and it was a ‘teaching clinic’ so there were two others in the room observing the exam. no problem, but again, why did i have to put clothes on in the first place?

blood pressure. questions. examinations. more questions. more examinations.

the short version is that i am fine.

apparently the doctor thinks i have been overdoing the caffeine lately. which, in hindsight, may have something to do with my recent obsession with mastering Madam’s fancy espresso machine.

he also gave me a bunch of suggestions for improving sleep. less caffeine. less stimulation before bed. better bedtime routines. apparently downing a quad-shot espresso at 10pm is a bad idea, but it gives me such an energy boost as i perform Madam’s turndown.

but both Madam and i would prefer to avoid sleep medications if possible. part of my job is being available if she needs me, and i need to be able to wake up and attend to her immediately.

so now duckie is attempting to become a responsible adult.

less coffee.

more sleep.

fewer midnight battles against surprise erections and an overactive imagination.

honestly, i think giving up the coffee might be the harder punishment.

oh yeah… speaking of punishment.

i now have to spin my punishment wheel.

three times.

once for not waking Madam and alerting her to my potential medical condition.

once for the unauthorized orgasm.

and once for arguing with her when i tried to explain that my masturbation was medically necessary. Madam did not find my argument persuasive.

so three spins it is.

i am going to wait until next week’s entry to share the outcomes.

if anyone needs me, i will be staring nervously at that wheel.