Everybody Wants a Dick Rating
by Autumn | Jun 19, 2026 |
What is it about men wanting me to tell them what I think about their pecker?
Seriously. I’ve lost count of the number of guys who have somehow convinced themselves that I am sitting around desperately hoping to evaluate their equipment. They’ll ask if it’s big enough. Thick enough. Pretty enough. Impressive enough. The answer is usually disappointing for them.
Truth is, most men are completely average. And a shocking number of them are below average in ways that have nothing to do with size.
Last weekend I got to have some fun with that.
A friend from college hosted a gathering. She’s very much in the lifestyle, and she’d put together a mix of D/s couples along with a handful of unattached submissive men. The evening was already entertaining, but at one point the women decided they wanted a little amusement.
They lined the boys up and asked me to inspect them.
Well.
Who am I to deny the ladies entertainment?
I walked down the line like a judge at a livestock competition. Some of these poor boys looked absolutely terrified. Others were trying way too hard to look confident. One was attempting to flex everything at once. Another looked like he was preparing for a job interview.
The women were laughing before I even got halfway through.
There were deductions for poor grooming. Deductions for obvious lack of preparation. Deductions for trying too hard. One poor guy couldn’t seem to maintain an erection no matter how much he wanted to impress the crowd. The more attention he received, the more nervous he became. It was almost impressive in its own way.
Another had apparently attacked himself with a razor sometime earlier that day and looked like he’d lost a fight with a lawnmower.
The women were ruthless. I was worse. By the end of the inspection we had two clear standouts.
The first was our loser. He wasn’t particularly large, wasn’t particularly confident, and unfortunately couldn’t maintain much enthusiasm during the judging process. The ladies were merciless. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.
Then there was our winner. He wasn’t the largest guy in the room. Not even close. But he had something many men don’t. Consistency. Confidence. He stayed hard throughout the entire inspection, didn’t get flustered, didn’t try to show off, and generally carried himself well. The women unanimously agreed. He won.
Which just proves something I’ve been saying for years. Most men obsess over size. Women notice presentation, confidence, effort, and whether you’re falling apart under pressure.
And yes, sometimes size does matter, but only if he knows how to use it right.
Still, I guarantee that after reading this, at least three men will send me messages asking what I think about theirs. The answer is probably not what you’re hoping for.
Beautiful article Miss Autumn,
but i’m not sending to to know opinion, i’m sending that i agree with You completely, and for me i’m happy with what i am and honest with myself being a sub and what i have isn’t the thing i run after, it’s a part of preoperty to be used or not according to my Owner.