Yeah, I said it.
At least once a day, especially since CK’s death, I see people on FetLife and other kink-centered spaces say, “I’m here to escape politics.”
I get it. Life is messy. Sometimes you just want a break from the news cycle. Honestly, if you scrolled far enough back in my own account, you’d probably find me saying something similar at some point. A fellow Dominant called me in and opened my eyes.
I got curiou,s and here’s what I found: that whole “I’m here to get away from politics” mindset comes from a place of privilege. I can step out of my so-called vanilla life and into a scene where I hold the power. That’s a luxury. I’m a white woman, not exactly at the top of the food chain but definitely not at the bottom, and that gives me room to check out in a way a lot of folks simply can’t.
Think about trans people, people of color, or sex workers. Politics isn’t something they can just mute. Their very right to exist and gather is debated in public hearings and written into law.
Numbers don’t lie. In the Trevor Project’s 2024 national survey of LGBTQ youth, 90 percent said the current political climate has hurt their well-being, and 46 percent of trans and non-binary youth seriously considered suicide in the past year. That’s not background noise. That’s politics showing up in their mental health every single day.
And it isn’t just theory for our community. Remember the FOSTA–SESTA law of 2018? It was sold as an anti-trafficking measure but it pushed sex workers off the safer online platforms they used to screen clients. A national landscape analysis shows it forced many back into riskier street work and made it harder to share safety resources. Politics literally rearranged the way kink and sex-work communities can survive.
Meanwhile, in states with the harshest anti-LGBTQ legislation, LGBTQ young people are already planning or making moves just to access healthcare. Trevor Project researchers found they’re significantly more likely to relocate, or at least think about it, when policy gets ugly. And we’ve seen it already happening. So when someone says they’re escaping politics by logging into a kink site, I hear: I’m privileged enough to think I can opt out.
But the people writing the bills and setting the rules are not taking a day off. We can, and absolutely should, keep kink fun, playful, and hot. But pretending it lives in a bubble is naive and dangerous. Power and consent are political. Laws about sex work and queer existence are political. Even the ability to host a munch or post a photo online depends on politics.
Kink is political, whether we like it or not. Ignoring that just hands the mic to the folks who’d rather our spaces disappear.
Damn straight Queen K. I read and agree with what You are saying power impacts most things and it includes kink. Will it always be that way? Power ruling? Can’t see why it will change. Just am hopeful that those in power do not feel a need to put a thumb into the world of kink we are doing quite well without their help. Thank You for a great post .
Queen Ketzeleh, thank you for this. So well explained, and highlights the need for us to all stand up. This is our community. Real people whose very way of life is under attack. For us to keep our kink fun, playful and hot, we need to pay attention to what is happening, we need to stand up and say it isn’t okay, and we need to find ways to support those most affected right now. And have no doubt – they are coming for all of our kink. We’re making business decisions now based on the laws being drafted and the decisions being made by the Supreme Court to limit our freedoms, including access to adult content.
I do hope everyone reading finds time and fun ways to escape politics, for a bit, as they dive into their kink! Just remember when you come up for air, join the fight to protect everyone’s rights!
Exactly, the both of us feel extremely strongly about helping in this fight. I am very aware of how fragile the privilege I have is. I will always use it to help others if I can. Sex sometimes is the best way that I can do that, at least an escape for a bit is better than nothing.