tough day
by duckie | Mar 15, 2025 |
today was rough. madam officially released the other subs because of the move, and just like that, the house feels empty.
i knew this was coming—her new estate won’t be ready until the end of summer, and the temporary villa we’re moving into is tight quarters. there was no room for everyone. madam is only bringing me with her. knowing that and actually watching them pack up, say their goodbyes, and walk out the door for the last time are two very different things. these were people i trained with, served alongside, suffered with. even when there was competition or punishment, there was always a sense of belonging. now? it’s just me.
the halls feel quieter. routines that once felt automatic now feel off. no one to share glances with when madam gives a particularly challenging order, no one else kneeling beside me in the morning, no whispered conversations in the kitchen late at night. just me, alone in my devotion.
madam, of course, doesn’t waver. she’s not sentimental about these things—decisions are made, life moves forward. but she knows i’m feeling it. she didn’t say much, just pulled me into her arms, held me there for a moment. no words, just a reminder that i still belong. that i am still hers.
it’s a lonely feeling here, and i am dreading next week when Madam leaves and i’ll be really alone until i catch up with her next month.
hang in there