Real FLR Interview Transcript: CM

Here is the full transcript of our interview with CM – the dominant wife in a real FLR (Female-Led Relationship). You can read the full transcript of the interview with her husband PS here, and read our feature article here.

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Zeek: Thanks for sitting down with us, CM. To start, how would you describe what being in a Female-Led Relationship (FLR) means for you and your husband (PS)?

CM: Our FLR started very slowly and gradually still evolves to this day. I still give him autonomy in much of his day-to-day, but recently, I’ve demanded that he start asking for permission for things he used to just assume he could do on his own. I’m 100% in control sexually and financially, though. I do appreciate his input, but I confiscate his paychecks every week, and I love that!

Zeek: You’ve mentioned in our previous conversations that PS refers to you as “Goddess.” Does he use that title in everyday interactions, or is it reserved for certain moments?

CM: Early on it was “Mistress”. He likes that a lot, but after a while I started thinking it was too closely related to a woman that a guy sleeps with who isn’t his wife and maintains that relationship with the other woman. So I changed that to “Goddess”. It sounds more powerful and therefore more demeaning to him to call me. He also likes “Boss,” which he will use from time to time. I demand to be called “Goddess” by him as long as we’re by ourselves, meaning in the bedroom, at home with no one else around (or else done quietly without anyone else hearing), and while texting.

Zeek: You refer to your husband as PS. What does that term mean to you? How does it reflect your relationship?

CM: It stands for “Pussy Slave.” To clarify, I don’t own him. My pussy owns him. It’s his job to obey my pussy. Of course, I own the pussy, the pussy owns him. I like that arrangement because he’s actually one rung lower than a part of me. That makes him my Pussy Slave.

Zeek: That’s Great! How did you two meet, if you don’t mind sharing?

CM: We actually met through Yahoo Messenger, back when that was still a thing! I was in university, and he had just moved to the city to open a retail store. He came across my profile. He’s a little older, which I think adds some excitement to our FLR. After chatting for a while, I went to check him out—safely, with a friend—and we’ve been together almost immediately since then.

AN FLR THAT HAS EVOLVED OVER TIME

Zeek: You mentioned that your FLR gradually evolved. Was there a specific moment where you really took on the dominant role?

CM: The first time I really took on the dominant role came early in our relationship. I knew he liked being tied up, so I played around with that. I even shaved him while he was bound. But one of the most powerful moments came when I grabbed his balls and told him that they now belonged to me. And I didn’t mean for a little while, I meant forever. And I squeezed until he agreed and made sure he understood the terms of this new arrangement. Then began to tease him and inform him (while still firmly in my grasp) how men having balls makes them so weak. Sure, they’re physically stronger, but they’re a huge physical vulnerability, and their control over a man’s sex drive exposes them to so many potential dangers when it comes to women, especially one who knows how to get what she wants out of a man and that sex drive. I didn’t fully appreciate that part then but have understood better over time.

Zeek: Would you say the Domme/sub relationship started right away, or did it take time to evolve?

CM: I love how the relationship has evolved and mostly done a complete 180. Despite him knowing he was a submissive, for quite some time (except for my taking ownership of his balls), our relationship was very traditional, if not necessarily completely “vanilla”. There was some kink (bondage, of him mostly), but what you would call very traditional. At first, he was very much “the man” and in control. Oral sex was almost entirely one-sided with me going down on him. Now is even more one-sided but in the reverse. In the past he’d try to get me to give him a blow job once or twice a week, and most of the time I would but there was no obligation. Now, he eats pussy on demand which is pretty much every morning, and is expected to ask me every night (in person) if I would like my pussy serviced then as well. When I want I’ll still suck him from time to time, but always on my terms, and full blow jobs are now almost entirely a thing of the past.

Zeek: You mentioned that you’ve recently started requiring PS to ask for permission for more things. How has that been playing out? Could you give us an example?

CM: Recently, while I was away, PS had friends visiting, and one of them wanted to go to an event at a nearby speedway. Normally, PS would have just informed me if he had the cash, but since I control the finances and he didn’t have enough, he had to ask for permission. I liked having that power, so I told him that from now on, he needs to ask permission for things like that. The ground rules are still being established, but he knows he’ll be punished if he oversteps without asking first. I’ve given myself a little leeway to punish indiscretions if I want for something trivial, even if it wasn’t technically a rule violation. Permission needs to be done discreetly.

Zeek: Tell me more about your finances. How did you end up in control, and do you give PS get any kind of allowance or spending money of his own?

CM: There is no allowance, and no spending money of his own per se. If he needs something, he asks me. He does carry credit cards so he can spend if necessary, but I expect to be aware of any purchases he makes before they are made so I can say no. There usually isn’t any problem with what he gets, so no real problem there.

For quite some time I’ve earned more than him. He is paid reasonably well, but for at least longer than the contract and most of our relationship actually, I’ve earned approximately double his pay. It’s partly how I began to take over, exerting my dominance by reinforcing that fact. Again, emasculating him. “I own your balls, I out-earn you by double, I expect more control.” Then one day I began confiscating his paychecks.

Zeek: It sounds like PS was always inclined toward submission, and you’ve become more dominant over time. Was he the one who initiated this dynamic?

CM: Yes, PS has always been submissive, though it’s grown over time. He’s hinted that he explored it with other women before me, but I think many women are afraid of scaring guys off if they come on too strong, so he was frustrated in those past relationships. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed it at first, but it’s evolved to where we are now, and I love it. It’s been gradual, but he’s been responsible for a lot of the ideas we’ve explored along the way.

Zeek: As your dominance has grown over time, has there ever been any resistance from PS or moments where he struggled with this shift in your relationship?

CM: There’s never been any real resistance. He’s always been on board with whatever I wanted to try, and I think he trusts me not to go too far. He’s definitely been the catalyst for a lot of our exploration. Recently, when we were discussing discipline via spanking, he told me to give him everything I had, and while I told him I wouldn’t go to extremes like drawing blood, he assured me he knew I wouldn’t do that. He sees wrestlers taking harder beatings on TV, so he figures he can handle it—even if he’s begging for mercy.

PUSSY EATING

Zeek: You’ve talked a bit about how PS is expected to be proactive in asking to service you. How does that work?

CM: This is PS’s idea which I’ve agreed to. We have a certain number of days that we “celebrate” different events, some normal (birthdays), some FLR-related (contract signing day) that have obligatory pussy-eating in the morning (unless I’m not in the mood, which is rare). Every Thursday is Paycheck Surrendering Day, another day that is always celebrated.

My birthday, for example, requires 7 days of pussy eating prior to the event, as well as on my birthday. That means 8 days straight of required pussy eating, where he is not allowed to cum at all (although sometimes I break my rules because I need him to fuck me.)

Some events require 14 days, plus 1 for the event (and added Thursdays).

Any day that isn’t part of that and not on a Thursday, he is still required to ask me if I want my pussy serviced. Same with every single night. Failure to do so is punished by spanking, although we haven’t been doing this long enough for me to determine what the number of lashes for that will be. It will be enough to keep him from forgetting again and will likely increase with every infraction.

Zeek: Sounds like PS definitely earns his Pussy Slave title. How would you rate his skills?

CM: He’s definitely gotten much better over time. He’s never been bad, but it was something he used to do reluctantly. He’s much more eager now that he knows it’s required of him. He used to require a little coaching, but he’s very well at reading my body now. He regrets not doing it more frequently sooner, and I regret letting him get away with it for as long as I did.

PUNISHMENT: REASONABLE BEHAVIOUR CORRECTION

Zeek: Tell me how you use punishments in your relationship? Would you say that punishing PS is more about fun play, a reminder of your control, or a way to correct behavior?

CM: It’s a little bit of all three. I currently owe him 19 lashes. We both enjoy the play, but it is intended to hurt, and it is almost always to correct PS’s behavior, albeit minor issues. I can’t say I’ve had to dish out any major discipline, but that would take the fun out of it if I truly had to whip him hard.

Spanking is kind of the new thing. The idea that his wife has the power to discipline him, that I’m completely in charge of the rules. I can even preemptively punish him via spanking as a reminder to be on his best behavior, so he has a nice pink tender ass when company is here to remind him to behave. I also love putting him over my knee to spank his bare ass.

Zeek: So you tend to keep your punishments reasonable? What would you consider to be too hard for him?

CM: Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point: I saw a video awhile back, where the premise was that a wife had caught her husband cheating and gave him a choice: divorce or a paddling. The guy chose spanking… he’s bare-assed, and she just starts laying into him with the paddle. You can hear that the guy is screaming and begging her to stop or at least let him catch his breath, but she’s determined to finish. He’s clearly in self-preservation mode, and she’s holding him as best she can, smacking his ass like crazy.

The people I’m watching with and all the comments are totally on her side and laughing at the guy’s expense, but I have to admit I took issue with it. Does anyone think this truly resolved the issue? Will they have a happy marriage after that? This may sound surprising coming from someone being interviewed on a femdom site, but all the people commenting and laughing at the guy—would they have felt the same if the “story” was reversed, and it was the guy who made the demand and paddled his wife like that? Doubtful.

So, on some level, I did enjoy watching it despite my misgivings, but regardless of the situation, I really don’t want to feel that my husband would have done anything to make me take spanking to that level. If he did, I’d like to think I’d have something better in mind to put him in his place than pretty much beating him.

Zeek: When you punish PS, is there a safeword he can use, or do you decide when to stop?

CM: In the past, I’ve accepted “mercy.” He did suggest something to me recently, I’m not sure if I’ll do it. He mentioned that I shouldn’t allow him to ask for mercy and take his punishment until it’s complete. His idea was to give him a choice. He can complete his punishment, or I can give mercy… however, mercy means stopping there and then, and then resuming from the start next time at the original count, plus whatever else has been added by then.

Zeek: On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate PS’s pain tolerance? Have you ever pushed him beyond his limits, and how does he respond to being spanked or disciplined?

CM: I’m going to say his pain tolerance level is probably 5. Average. He’s reasonably tough, but when it comes to spanking, I think he wants to be taken beyond where he’s begging for mercy, at least a little bit. I’ve been kicking around (no pun intended) the idea of properly busting him. If I do, I will let you know how he tolerates that. He responds pretty well when over my knee, although that’s more about the humiliation of that position than the pain generated by a spanking. Perhaps I need to rethink that.

HUMILIATION – AN IMPORTANT PART OF THEIR FLR DYNAMIC

Zeek: You’ve mentioned humiliation as part of your FLR dynamic. What is it about adding humiliation tactics that you enjoy?

CM: The vast majority of the humiliation stuff I do with PS is private. We both love that all the humiliation that I enforce on him is emasculating. It shows that I have all the power, and he has none. I am his loyal loving wife, yet he needs to obey me “like a proper husband should.”

I regularly deny him orgasms to keep him more attentive to my needs and now when he gets to cum, it is mostly after he’s made me cum at least twice orally and I just really want to get fucked. So most of the humiliation is just reminding him of how much control he’s lost to me and the degree of his loss of power.

Zeek: How does PS react when you introduce these humiliation tactics into your relationship?

CM: PS absolutely loves it, probably more than I do.

Zeek: Do you have any specific examples of how you’ve used humiliation with him?

CM: Occasionally I have him worship my ass just to keep him reminded of his place, same with just having him strip for me and getting on his knees to await further instructions, and on rare occasions having him worship my feet.

I do have him regularly locked up in a ball stretcher. It’s not the heaviest unit (far from it), but I’m not really about the weight, it’s him having a reminder with the device pulling down on MY balls toremind him who owns them. It’s a great device and I love seeing those little balls of mine between his legs all locked up tight and sensitive, imprisoned like that.

They have another similar-sized one I’m going to get soon that has a couple of loops built in for adding extra weight. Instead, I’m going to remove one of them, and bind him via two chains, one attached to the headboard, one attached to the footboard, with him in the middle of the bed, chained in place by those little balls of mine. And I definitely plan on taking advantage of having him there locked up and helpless. I guarantee for starters that my camera is going to be coming out for that!

Zeek: That sounds like fun – I’m sure our readers would enjoy seeing some of those pictures While we’re on the topic of humiliating PS, is there anything you’d like to share about PS that you think would embarrass or humiliate him when he reads it in the article?

CM: Our FLR is what it is, and he would be humiliated if people he knew learned of his level of submission and obedience to me. I control the sex, I control the finances, I control most aspects of his life including working on having him permanently hairless in his pubic area. LOL! Perhaps that’s the one thing that might.

FLR PRIVACY – NOT A Public Activity

Zeek: Are your FLR dynamics known to friends or family? Do others in your social circle see this side of your relationship?

CM: No. Perhaps I’m too timid in that regard, although there are a few exceptions where that hasn’t been the case.

Mostly we don’t because of the nature of our jobs, and most of my friends are through my work. Also, this can’t be seen by our kids. If they explore this lifestyle after they discover it on their own, that’s fine, but we won’t influence it with our behavior.

Zeek: You mentioned a few exceptions – want to elaborate?

CM: One exception is in front of wait staff at restaurants. When we dine out, he sits quietly as I order his meal (granted, I get what he wants, but I’m the one ordering), and I decide if he gets a refill, all completely in front of the waiter or waitress.

Another exception occurred a few years back3 I was unhappy with PS and told a friend about it. As part of his punishment, he was required to serve us the next time she was over. Basically, if I needed anything, he was to stop doing what he was doing and take care of it as she witnessed that dynamic. It basically amounted to him getting us coffee and being dismissed by me when I told him we didn’t need anything else. PS told me after the fact that I loved doing that to him in front of a female friend of mine so she could witness it. This isn’t something that’s been repeated, despite his encouragement.

The third time was at a work-related event. There is a friend of mine I share a LOT with when it comes to work, and I’ve come to trust her. It was a social event where we had some drinks, and I let her know that I’m the boss at home, and I shared the terms of our contract. She was stunned, but surprisingly didn’t ask any follow-up questions and hasn’t asked about it since.

PS would love if I shared with more of my friends about the nature of our FLR or even just dropped hints about it, but I’m very careful about who I tell as I do have some trust issues.

PLAYING WITH OTHERS – She can, he can’t

Zeek: You mentioned in your contract that PS can’t have sexual activity with others, but you are free to do so. Have you ever thought about involving other partners, and how would that affect your relationship?

CM: I made sure he put that into the contract just so he knew I had that power, but I would likely never act on it, and I’ve never had the urge either. Definitely not with another male. It’s good to know that I can and there’s nothing PS can say about it, but I don’t think he could handle it emotionally.

Early on, I was open to the idea of another female being added, but back then I definitely had an inferiority complex that I am long over. While I agreed, we never found anyone, and I didn’t really try that hard for that reason, worrying about losing PS to the other woman added, and probably a bunch of other reasons as well. Would I now? Definitely, but the same problem of worrying about the wrong people finding out.

Zeek: Ok, that sounds hot, adding another female to your dynamic. Have you thought about how that scene might play out?

CM: In the past, PS would’ve been in charge and mostly had two women servicing him. Now, if we have another female, I will be the one in charge, and PS will likely only be involved in watching while bound naked to a chair with a chastity cage on (I will buy one for that reason alone if it happens), so we can both watch him struggle in frustration while we take turns making each other cum.

ORGASM CONTROL

Zeek: You mentioned that you limit PS’s orgasms. Do you really keep him from cumming for weeks at a time?

CM: I have definitely made him go longer stretches without orgasm, but lately I’ve been giving in to get laid. I have to trust he’s not “taking matters into his own hands,” but I love how attentive he is when he’s backed up for more than a few days.

Zeek: What’s the longest he’s gone without you allowing him to release?

CM The longest he went was six and a half months, but there was a consequence to it. (This might be another thing that would humiliate him, actually.) I had him between my legs getting me off, and he was very turned on as usual when suddenly he jumped up realizing that the little bit of thrusting he was doing on the bed brought him to climax. Understandably, it was a large load. I was upset at first because he left me hanging the way that he did, but forgave that one incident under the circumstances.

Zeek: Oh boy (laughing) I bet that was both embarrassing and disappointing for both of you! Do you have any rules around when he gets to cum?

CM: Earlier, I mentioned that he wears the “ball collar” more often than not (I allow it off for cleanings and to prevent chaffing, for example), but he doesn’t get played with unless he’s wearing that and his pubic area is fully shaved. Also, he doesn’t cum unless I’ve been satisfied first.

Zeek: Is there a system where PS knows when he will be allowed to cum? Are there prerequisites or conditions he has to meet?

CM: LOL! He seems to always be looking for a date for a release and then gets punished by having that date pushed back if necessary. I take the blame on this one, as I don’t like being contained by that, and frequently, I want him to fuck me long before that date arrives.

Zeek: When he is allowed to cum, is it typically through intercourse, or do you use other methods?

CM: He usually only cums via intercourse now. His options to cum are extremely limited, and blowjobs, while fun, aren’t really for me. I have given him a few humiliation orgasms, and I’ll probably give him a couple over the next few months.

What’s to come?

Zeek: Thanks for sharing so much about your FLR. Before we go, what’s on your agenda to try next – how will your FLR be evolving?

CM: I’m working up to pegging him with a strap-on at some point. I have recently found some good pegging articles on this site, which have rekindled that idea a bit. And this is one of the few things I’ve considered without input from PS. If I decide to do it, he will have no say in the matter. And yes, he is aware of this and has accepted his fate. (I think he’s safe for a while, though.)

Also, I’m considering a chastity device. I want to have him bound and helpless with that on and take the vibrator to MY balls and watch him squirm in frustration until he ejaculates in the device without having any erection. It would be even more exciting if I can time it right for him to have a ruined orgasm as well.

Zeek: Finally, I want to revisit a question I asked you in our pre-interview conversation. At the time, you responded you would need time to think about it.  Tell me what it means to you to be in an FLR, or a relationship that practices Femdom? 

CM: Femdom, to me, isn’t about treating your man like garbage, but about control and having him submit, obey, and serve. While I’m in complete control, I’m usually not forcing him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. If he asks permission to make a purchase, as long as it makes sense, I’ll rarely say no. When I order him a meal, I don’t order anything he doesn’t like. I simply want to be the one in charge. I’m never cruel or denying him something to make a point. I just need to be the boss.