Advice for Hiring a Professional Dominatrix

Dear Mizz Geena,

My husband and I enjoy incorporating BDSM into our bedroom time, and have switched who is dominant and who is submissive. However, he wants a lot more from me when I’m the dominant than I’m interested in doing. It’s not that I’m not into it, I just don’t like to inflict pain. I’ve looked into hiring a professional dominatrix and found some who appear to be legitimate. Since it is a paid-for service, I don’t have concerns that he’s going to fall in love or cheat on me. I just really want to give him this experience. Is there anything I should be thinking of before going forward with this?

Sincerely,
Wife of a Masochist

Dear Wife of a Masochist,

I can understand your dilemma and desire to fulfill your husband’s desires while also feeling uncomfortable with inflicting pain. BDSM, as you may already know, encompasses a wide range of activities and dynamics within power exchange relationships. It is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your boundaries and what you are comfortable with. It seems like you have already discussed this issue with your husband, and it is great that you are looking into alternative options to satisfy his needs.

Hiring a professional dominatrix can be a great way to explore BDSM activities that may not be in your realm of interest. However, there are a few things to consider before moving forward with this decision.

First, it is crucial to do thorough research when looking for a professional dominatrix. As you mentioned, you have already found some who appear to be legitimate, but it is essential to do your due diligence to ensure their safety and credibility. This means checking their website, reviews, and asking for references if possible. It is also essential to have a conversation with them before booking a session to discuss boundaries, safe words, and any specific activities you are interested in.

Another important aspect to consider is the cost of hiring a professional dominatrix. This is a paid service, and it is essential to discuss the fees upfront to avoid any misunderstandings. Professional dominatrixes often have different rates depending on the activities requested and the duration of the session. It is also important to tip them after the session, as this is customary in the BDSM community.

Furthermore, it is crucial to discuss your expectations with your husband before booking a session with a professional. It is natural to feel anxious or even jealous when your partner is engaging in BDSM activities with someone else, even if it is a paid service. It is essential to have a conversation with your husband about boundaries, expectations, and any concerns you may have. This will help ensure that both of you are on the same page and that you both feel comfortable with the decision.

Additionally, it is essential to consider the emotional impact this may have on your husband. BDSM activities can be intense and emotionally charged, and it is common for submissives to experience sub drop after a session. Sub drop is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion that can occur after a BDSM scene. It is important to discuss aftercare with your husband and ensure that he is receiving the support and care he needs after engaging in these activities.

You may also want to consider attending a BDSM class or workshop together before booking a session with a professional. This can help you both gain a better understanding of BDSM dynamics, safety protocols, and communication within power exchange relationships. It can also help you explore different activities and find ways to incorporate them into your own playtime.

In summary, hiring a professional dominatrix can be a great way to explore and fulfill your husband’s BDSM desires in a safe and consensual manner. However, it is crucial to do thorough research, have open and honest communication with your husband, and discuss boundaries and expectations with the dominatrix before booking a session. Remember to prioritize your safety, emotional well-being, and the well-being of your partner when making this decision.

Lastly, I want to remind you that you are not obligated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, even if it is for your partner. Your boundaries and desires are just as valid and important as your husband’s, and it is okay to say no to certain activities. Open and honest communication is key in BDSM relationships, and I encourage you to continue exploring and communicating with your partner to find a dynamic that works for both of you.

I wish you the best of luck in your BDSM journey.

Sincerely,

Mizz Geena.