Ass Play and Dominance: Why Your Girlfriend May Actually Love Rimming You

Dear Mizz Geena:

I’m a 22 year old straight guy, totally into being dominated by women. I ended up down a rabbit hole reading everything on the site when I found FemdomU!

Anyway, my best friend is gay, and we used to laugh about how much gay guys like to eat ass, and how cute my ass was, and how any gay guy would kill to munch on it. I always made fun of it, we laughed, but I really didn’t get the whole rimming thing gays are into. Whatever, to each their own.

Fast forward to last night, and I went on a first date, let’s call her “Lucy.” Lucy took me back to her apartment, we had some drinks, things got hot and heavy, and soon we were naked on her bed. She was totally taking lead, and I was into it, but then she did something I’d never experienced – she went down and licked my asshole. And I mean, she really went at it. I was scared at first – I’ve had things in my ass before, but not someone’s tongue. And she was going at it with reckless abandon. I wasn’t sure if I should be grossed out, feel violated, or just enjoy it. When I reached down and felt my raging erection, I decided to enjoy it.

My question to you, is this something dominant women like doing? I’m worried she did it because she thought I wanted her to, and not because she likes it. I’m still confused as to why someone would want to do that, but she said she enjoyed it, a lot. And, I got into it. Eventually she turned me over, mounted me, and we fucked until she came twice and I finally came. I don’t want to be the dumb guy afraid of homosexuality and ask if it makes me gay that I enjoyed it. But, is it possible that she actually enjoyed it? And if so, can you explain what she enjoyed about it?

Thank you,
Confused Rimmee

Dear Confused Rimmee,

It sounds like you had quite the eye-opening experience with Lucy, and it’s completely natural to feel a mix of emotions afterward. First, let me reassure you that enjoying something like rimming (anilingus) doesn’t make you gay, nor does it change your sexual orientation. Pleasure is pleasure, and it’s all about what feels good to you, regardless of societal labels.

1. Dominant Women and Rimming: Yes, many dominant women do enjoy rimming as part of their sexual repertoire, but it’s not a universal preference—it varies from person to person. Many dominant women do not perform this activity on their subs. However, in the context of a dominant-submissive relationship, rimming can be a powerful expression of control, intimacy, and trust. For some dominant women, it’s a way to assert their dominance, take control of their partner’s body, and explore their submissive’s vulnerabilities.

2. Why Might She Enjoy It? There are several reasons why Lucy might have enjoyed rimming you, and these can give you some insight into the act itself:

• Control and Power: Rimming can be a very intimate act, one that puts the receiver in a vulnerable position. For a dominant woman, this vulnerability can be incredibly arousing. By taking control and pleasuring you in this way, she may have felt empowered and deeply connected to you.
• Sensory Pleasure: Some people find great pleasure in the act of rimming itself—the taste, the sensation, and the physical closeness it involves. For Lucy, it might have been the combination of enjoying the act and seeing your positive reaction that made it so enjoyable for her.
• Pushing Boundaries: Dominant women often enjoy exploring the boundaries of their submissive partners. Introducing something new and seeing how you respond can be thrilling for both parties. Your initial hesitation followed by your arousal might have been exactly the reaction she was hoping for, enhancing her own enjoyment.
• Mutual Pleasure: Sexual acts are often most enjoyable when both partners are fully engaged and enjoying themselves. Knowing that she was giving you pleasure, especially something you hadn’t experienced before, could have made the experience even more satisfying for her.

3. It’s Okay to Enjoy It: There’s nothing wrong with enjoying rimming or any other sexual activity that brings you pleasure, as long as it’s consensual. It’s great that you were able to let go of your initial discomfort and allow yourself to enjoy the moment. It’s also perfectly normal to be curious about why she liked it, especially if it’s something new to you.

4. Communicate with Lucy: If you’re interested in understanding more about what she enjoys, don’t hesitate to ask her directly. Communication is key in any sexual relationship, especially when exploring new territories. You might discover that rimming is something she genuinely enjoys, and by talking about it, you can continue to explore what works best for both of you.

Final Thoughts: Sexual pleasure is a deeply personal and varied experience. What might seem unusual or surprising at first can often turn into something that you enjoy, as you discovered with rimming. It’s all about what feels good to you and your partner, and there’s no need to overthink or label it. Embrace the exploration, keep an open mind, and enjoy the journey.

If you both enjoyed the experience, that’s what matters most. And if you’re curious about trying it again, or exploring other aspects of your sexual dynamic, go for it with confidence and clear communication.

Enjoy the ride,
Mizz Geena