Tattooing Your Sub: How to Plan a Consent-Driven, Kink-Friendly Experience

Dear Mizz Geena:

Hello, I found my way here after reading Mistress Heather’s article on tattooing. I am also a mother. I’m doubtful that you can help me with this, but I’m hoping this will be a good starting point. I am married and in an FLR, and want to get a tattoo for my husband. I already know he would give his consent, but I would much rather bring him someplace where they would accept only my consent. Ideally, I want to arrange it ahead of time (female tattoo artist a must) bring him unaware of my plan, announce at the destination what was going to happen and that he had no say in the matter. Preferably I want him bound while it’s done, but I understand that the first part is likely enough of a challenge without making the bondage a requirement. I am located on the west coast, but I’d like to make this happen when we travel – usually somewhere on the East coast of the USA and Canada. I am reaching out to you in case you have any ideas?

Thanks,
Determined Domme

Dear Determined Domme,

It’s wonderful to see how much thought and care you’re putting into planning this special experience for your husband. A tattoo can be a deeply symbolic and powerful expression of your dynamic, and it’s clear that you’re committed to making it a meaningful and memorable event. While the logistics of arranging such a scenario may seem challenging, there are definitely ways to bring your vision to life, especially with some careful planning and the right approach.

1. Understanding the Legal and Ethical Landscape: Tattooing is a serious procedure, and most reputable tattoo artists are bound by strict ethical guidelines that require the person receiving the tattoo to give their explicit consent. However, since your husband is your submissive and follows your orders, this means that even when he gives his consent to the tattoo artist, he’s doing so under your direction and as part of your dynamic. This approach allows you to maintain your control while still respecting the legal and ethical requirements of the process.

The laws in the area where the tattoo artist works will determine if they need your husband’s signature on a consent form. Usually, these forms must be kept by the parlor for 7 years according to legal requirements. Simply inform your husband of your decision and give him the command to sign the form.

2. Finding the Right Tattoo Artist: Given your specific needs, it’s essential to find a tattoo artist who is not only skilled but also kink-friendly and open to working within the framework of your FLR (Female-Led Relationship). Here’s how you can start:

• Explore Kink-Friendly Communities: Websites like Fetlife are excellent resources for connecting with other kinksters and finding professionals who are familiar with and supportive of various BDSM dynamics. You might be able to find recommendations for tattoo artists who are comfortable with your specific request.
• Fetlife: Speaking from a personal perspective, I have been able to connect with two skilled tattoo artists through Fetlife during my travels. One instance was because I wanted someone experienced in BDSM artwork for a piece on myself. The other time, while browsing Fetlife posts, I stumbled upon a young artist offering kink-friendly tattoos at a discounted rate as he gained more experience. His work was impressive, so I had one of my service submissives get a tattoo from him. Both experiences were positive, and it made me consider using the site again when I’m ready for another tattoo on either myself or someone else’s body
• Be Open and Honest: When reaching out to potential tattoo artists, be clear about your intentions and the dynamics at play. Let them know that your husband’s consent will be part of the process, but that this consent is being given under your directive. Some artists might be intrigued by the experience and willing to collaborate with you to make it work.
• Use Your FLR Contract: If you and your husband have a formal contract outlining your FLR, consider bringing a copy to the consultation. This can help demonstrate the consensual nature of your relationship and the seriousness with which you both approach your dynamic. It might also provide some reassurance to the tattoo artist about the legitimacy of your request.

3. Creating the Experience: Even if your husband needs to give his consent to the tattoo artist, you can still create an experience that emphasizes your control and his submission:

• Plan the Reveal: Consider planning a day out where the tattoo session is a surprise. When you arrive at the studio, you can reveal your plan to him, explaining that he’s going to receive a tattoo as a symbol of your dynamic. His consent, given at your direction, will be a part of fulfilling your wishes.
• Choose the Design: The tattoo itself is a powerful symbol, and I’m excited to hear what you’re planning to have inked on him! Whether it’s a meaningful symbol, a phrase that reflects your relationship, or something that marks him as yours, the design can be a lasting representation of your bond.
• Choose the Location: You also have the power to select where the tattoo will be placed on your husband’s body, a permanent alteration for him. Will it be in a discreet location, serving as a personal reminder every time he catches his reflection, or will it be in a more noticeable spot, publicly declaring his submission?
• Maintain the Atmosphere: During the session, you could bind his hands or use other light restraints (with the artist’s approval) to reinforce the dynamic. This adds an extra layer of submission to the experience while keeping within the bounds of what the tattoo artist is comfortable with.

4. Addressing Potential Concerns: Most tattoo artists will want to ensure that your husband is fully aware and consenting to the tattoo. Since he is your submissive, and you’ve both agreed to this dynamic, once he gives the necessary legal consent, the artist shouldn’t have a problem proceeding. It’s important to frame the situation in a way that emphasizes mutual respect, understanding, and the consensual nature of your FLR.

5. Traveling for the Experience: If you’re unable to find a suitable artist in Canada, expanding your search to the U.S. might provide more options. Cities with vibrant and diverse communities, like New York, Boston, or San Francisco, are likely to have tattoo artists who are more open to alternative relationship dynamics.

Final Thoughts: You’re embarking on an incredibly meaningful journey with your husband, and this tattoo can be a beautiful and permanent symbol of your dynamic. By finding the right artist and planning carefully, you can create an experience that honors both your desires and the legal requirements of the tattooing process.

I’m confident that with the right approach, you can make this work and create something truly special. Best of luck in finding the perfect artist, and I can’t wait to hear how it all turns out! I know our readers would love to hear details too!

With support and excitement,
Mizz Geena