Exploring Domination for First Timers

Dear Mistress Geena:

I am a 22 year old female living with my boyfriend (23). We have always had lots of sex, and it’s been good. He recently told me he wants to try being dominated by me. I have no idea what to do, and I’m afraid of fucking it all up. Please tell me – how do I dominate my boyfriend for the first time?

Signed,
Reluctant Domme

Dear Reluctant Domme,

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a great sex life and a strong relationship. It’s wonderful that he has expressed an interest in exploring domination with you, and it’s perfectly normal to feel a bit nervous or unsure about how to approach it. As a Dominatrix with years of experience, I can assure you that dominating your partner can be an incredibly empowering and thrilling experience for both of you.

First and foremost, communication is key. Sit down with your boyfriend and have an open and honest discussion about his desires and boundaries. Ask him what specifically he is interested in trying and what he is not comfortable with. This will help you establish a safe and consensual dynamic from the beginning. It’s also important to set a safe word or signal that your partner can use if he needs to stop the scene at any point.

Next, let’s discuss some specific ways you can dominate your boyfriend in the bedroom. Remember, domination is not just about physical acts, but also about psychological control and power exchange. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Role play: Role play is a fun and creative way to explore domination. You can pretend to be a strict teacher, a seductive boss, or a powerful queen. Use props and costumes to enhance the experience and get into character.

Sensory play: Sensory play involves stimulating your partner’s senses in different ways. Blindfolds, earplugs, and restraints can all be used to heighten your partner’s sense of touch, taste, and smell. You can also use feathers, ice cubes, or hot wax to add different sensations to the mix.

Verbal domination: Use your words to dominate your partner. Tell him what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. Use a firm and commanding tone to assert your dominance and make sure he knows who is in charge.

Physical domination: This can include things like spanking, bondage, or using toys such as floggers, paddles, or crops. Remember to always start slow and communicate with your partner to ensure that you’re both enjoying the experience.

Humiliation: Humiliation can be a powerful tool in domination play, as long as it’s consensual and within your partner’s boundaries. This can involve things like verbal degradation, public humiliation, or forced acts such as foot worship or body worship.

Power exchange: Dominating your partner can also involve controlling and manipulating his actions and behaviors outside of the bedroom. This can include things like giving him specific tasks or rules to follow, or even taking control of his finances or daily routine.

Remember, the key to a successful domination scene is confidence and communication. Don’t be afraid to take charge and lead the way, but also be open to your partner’s feedback and needs. It’s also important to establish aftercare after each scene, which can include cuddling, talking, or simply checking in with each other to make sure you’re both feeling good.

It’s completely normal to feel nervous or unsure when trying something new, but don’t let that hold you back. Domination can be an incredibly fulfilling and exciting experience for both you and your partner. Have fun, be creative, and enjoy the power exchange with your boyfriend.

Best of luck,
Mistress Geena