From Infidelity to Cuckolding: Understanding the Desire to Watch Your Wife with Another Man

Dear Mizz Geena:

I’m heart broken and turned on all at the same time. I’m 28 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years. We had one kid (she got pregnant and that’s why we married). Our sex life got pretty stale pretty fast, and I am ashamed to say it’s been nearly four months since the last time we made love.

But then I discovered that she’s been cheating on me with our neighbor. He and I have always been friendly, drink a beer together, etc. I found a pair of men’s socks in our bed after I’d been away for a work trip, and laid a trap. When I went away the next week, I setup a hidden nanny-cam, and when I got home and checked the recording, I was floored. She was fucking our neighbor on our bed. His huge cock pounded her. They fucked for a good hour, in all sorts of positions. She even let him take her in her rear hole.

What got me the most was how violently he face fucked her – she won’t even go down on me. Here’s the thing – it destroyed me seeing my wife cheat on me – but it also really turned me on watching her get pleasured by him. I think I should want to divorce her, make her pay for her disloyalty. But I keep playing it over and over in my head – and what I want, deep down, is for her to let me be in the room with her while she fucks him, or other guys. And I want her to lean into my humiliation, and totally degrade me.

What is wrong with me? I’m a dad, and this definintey wouldn’t be the type of role model I’d want to be. Should I divorce her? Should I tell her what I want? Should I just keep pretending I don’t know, finding ways to sneek a peak like a weirdo (I really don’t want to be that guy).

Please, help,
Hopelessly Cucked

Dear Hopelessly Cucked,

First, let me say that what you’re going through is incredibly complex and emotionally charged. Discovering that your wife has been unfaithful is a gut-wrenching experience, and it’s completely normal to feel heartbroken, betrayed, and even confused by the emotions this has stirred in you. It’s important to remember that there’s nothing “wrong” with you for feeling what you’re feeling—it’s a natural response to an intense and unexpected situation.

Let’s break this down together:

1. The Emotional Conflict: It’s clear that you’re dealing with conflicting emotions—hurt and arousal at the same time. The idea of being turned on by something that hurts you is more common than you might think, especially in the context of kinks like cuckolding. Cuckolding is a dynamic where the arousal comes from a mix of humiliation, jealousy, and the intense focus on your partner’s pleasure with someone else. What you’re feeling isn’t wrong; it’s just a different kind of sexual expression that’s emerging from a very raw and painful place.

2. Addressing the Betrayal: Before diving into the kink aspect, it’s crucial to address the betrayal. Infidelity is a significant breach of trust, and it’s vital to consider how that impacts your relationship. If your marriage is going to move forward, there needs to be open and honest communication. You need to talk to your wife about what you’ve discovered, how it’s affected you, and where you both stand. It’s possible that she doesn’t know how you feel, and this conversation could be a chance to clear the air and see if there’s a way forward together.

3. Exploring Your Desires: Now, let’s talk about the desires you’ve uncovered. It sounds like you’re interested in the idea of your wife being sexually active with other men, while you watch or participate in some way. This is a form of cuckolding, and it’s a valid kink that many couples explore together. The fact that this arouses you isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s just part of who you are.

But, and this is important, before jumping into anything, it’s vital to consider whether your wife would be open to this kind of dynamic. Not everyone is comfortable with or interested in cuckolding, and you both need to be on the same page for it to work. It’s also crucial that you both agree on the terms and boundaries, ensuring that it’s a consensual and positive experience for both of you.

4. Talking to Your Wife: Should you tell your wife what you want? That’s a deeply personal decision, and only you can gauge how she might react. If you do choose to share your feelings, be prepared for a range of responses—she might be shocked, confused, or even curious. The key is to approach the conversation with honesty and openness, without judgment. Let her know how you’ve been feeling, and that you’re trying to understand these new desires that have surfaced.

5. Considering Divorce: Divorce is a big decision and one that shouldn’t be made lightly. Before considering that route, think about whether your marriage can be salvaged and whether you want to explore this new dynamic together. Sometimes, infidelity can be a wake-up call that leads to a deeper, more honest relationship. Other times, it’s a sign that the relationship has run its course. Take the time to really think about what you want for your future, both as a husband and as a father.

6. Finding a Healthy Outlet: Lastly, whatever you decide, make sure you’re taking care of your mental and emotional health. Consider speaking with a therapist who is kink-friendly and can help you navigate these feelings in a healthy way. There’s no need to feel like a “weirdo” for having these thoughts—what matters is finding a way to explore them that feels right for you and your wife, if she’s open to it.

In summary, there’s nothing “wrong” with you for having these desires, but it’s essential to address the underlying issues in your marriage first. Communicate openly with your wife, consider what you both want moving forward, and don’t rush into any decisions until you’ve had a chance to fully process everything.

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that brings you peace and fulfillment.

Warmly, Mizz Geena