The Happy Cock Handbook for Men’s Health Month

Let’s talk about your penis.

Not as a joke, not as something shameful, not as a dirty little secret tucked away in your pants. Let’s talk about it like what it is: a vital, functional, sensitive part of your body. One that deserves proper care, respectful attention, and yes, some loving discipline now and then.

I care about your health. All of it. That includes your physical health, your mental well-being, and your sexual function. And when it comes to cocks, I’ve seen my fair share. I know what’s common, what’s avoidable, what’s normal, and what needs medical attention. So for Men’s Health Month, let’s strip it down and get honest about what makes for a happy penis.

Daily Penis Care

You brush your teeth every day (I hope). Your cock deserves the same consistency. Penis hygiene isn’t complicated, but it is essential.

If you’re uncut, make sure you’re retracting the foreskin completely during your showers and cleaning beneath with warm water. No harsh soaps, no scrubbing. Just gentle cleansing. Dry it thoroughly before dressing.

If you’re circumcised, daily washing is still important. Sweat, dead skin cells, and bacteria build up around the head and shaft. Keep your skin clean and dry to prevent irritation.

Check yourself regularly. Look for any unusual bumps, sores, discharge, discoloration, or changes in sensation. If something seems off, speak up. Don’t delay seeing a provider out of embarrassment. I promise we’ve seen worse.

Grooming & Skin Health

Trim your pubic hair regularly if you like, but avoid aggressive shaving, which causes microtears and can increase risk of infection or ingrown hairs. If you use a razor, go with the grain, use clean blades, and moisturize afterward.

Consider using a fragrance-free lotion or aloe gel to keep your skin soft and healthy. Just don’t slather anything on the head unless it’s designed for mucous membranes.

And don’t forget the balls. They deserve love too.

Erections & Blood Flow

One of the best signs of penis health is regular, strong erections. A healthy cock is a cock that gets hard. That requires good blood flow, healthy nerves, and balanced hormones.

That means taking care of your whole body. Exercise regularly, manage your stress, get enough sleep, and keep your cardiovascular system in good shape. High blood pressure, smoking, diabetes, and being sedentary all reduce erection quality.

And yes, I can tell. If your erections are inconsistent, weak, or absent, something is going on. Don’t just wait for it to “get better.” Address it. There are solutions, and your Domme would much rather hear you say “I’m getting checked out” than “I can’t perform.”

Sexual Health & STD Safety

If you’re sexually active—especially as a submissive who plays with multiple partners or follows your Domme’s commands to engage in high-risk play—then protecting your penis from STDs is not just smart, it’s part of your service.

Condoms remain your first line of defense. Use them unless you’re in a committed, tested, and fully transparent fluid-bonded relationship. And if you are in one of those relationships, that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. You should still be getting tested regularly. At minimum, that means once a year. If you’re having casual sex, group play, or Domme-directed encounters, testing should be more frequent—every three to six months, or sooner if anything seems off.

Symptoms like discharge, sores, itching, burning, pain during urination, or any unexpected changes in your genitals need to be taken seriously. Many STIs can be asymptomatic, especially in their early stages, but still cause damage or spread to others. Don’t play the guessing game. If your cock is getting used, then you need to be responsible for keeping it clean, safe, and disease-free.

Now let’s talk about proactive protection. For subs who engage in oral or anal play, or who are part of a more open or poly-style dynamic, you should consider additional medical options.

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a once-daily medication that can significantly reduce your risk of contracting HIV. It’s discreet, effective, and increasingly common in the kink and queer communities. If you’re engaging in anal sex—especially if you’re bottoming—PrEP is something to talk about with your doctor.

DoxyPEP (post-exposure doxycycline) is a newer option some are now using after high-risk encounters. Taken shortly after sex, it can reduce the chance of bacterial STIs like chlamydia and syphilis. It’s not yet standard practice everywhere, but it’s worth bringing up with a healthcare provider if you’re a sub with an active sexual calendar.

Taking steps like these doesn’t mean you’re reckless—it means you’re responsible. You’re protecting yourself, your Domme, and your play partners. You’re keeping your body ready and usable for service. And that, in this house, is called obedience.

So don’t skip the clinic. Don’t hide symptoms. Don’t guess. Your Mistress deserves a healthy cock, not a mystery rash.

Masturbation Is Healthy (Yes, I Said It)

You have my full, medical blessing to masturbate.

Masturbation improves circulation, helps regulate hormone levels, supports prostate health, and improves your sleep. It can even help reduce anxiety. Just don’t do it compulsively, or use it to avoid real intimacy.

Try not to rely exclusively on porn or death-grip techniques. Vary your strokes, use lube sometimes, and aim to be present with your body. You’ll notice more pleasure and develop better control. That will make you a better submissive lover for your Domme, and a healthier man overall.

And yes, some Dommes might lock you up in chastity and deny you. That’s their right. But if you are allowed to masturbate, do it with care and intention. Think of it as a tune-up, not just a release.

The Power of the Prostate

Your prostate plays a vital role in semen production and orgasmic pleasure. Keeping it healthy is crucial as you age.

Frequent ejaculation, whether through sex or masturbation, helps flush out fluids and reduce the risk of inflammation. If your Domme enjoys milking you or instructing you in anal play, she may already be giving your prostate the attention it deserves.

If not, consider talking to her about it. Prostate massage can be both intensely erotic and deeply therapeutic when done safely.

Diet, Hydration, and Semen Quality

What you eat affects how you taste, smell, and function. Stay hydrated. Eat fruits and vegetables. Cut down on processed junk and alcohol. Zinc, folate, and antioxidants all support sperm health and testosterone production.

Pineapple, celery, cinnamon, and mint can subtly improve the flavor of your ejaculate. Want her to swallow more often, or make you swallow it yourself with less complaint? Start with your grocery list.

When Something’s Wrong

Pain, burning, difficulty urinating, new lumps, or sexual dysfunction are all red flags. So is a sudden drop in libido or energy. Don’t wait. These issues can point to infections, hormonal imbalances, or early signs of something more serious.

And if you’re over 40, schedule your annual physical. Get your bloodwork done. Ask about prostate screenings. Taking charge of your sexual health is an act of service to yourself and to your Mistress.

Serving Through Health

When you take care of your cock, you’re taking care of my property. A healthy, responsive, well-groomed penis is not only a better toy to play with, it’s a sign of a submissive who takes pride in service.

Don’t make me punish you for neglect.

Touch it gently. Keep it clean. Feed it well. Let it breathe sometimes. Show it to me with pride when I ask, because your obedience and care are written all over it.

Remember: a happy penis makes for a very happy Mistress.

Now, go wash up. You’ve got a cock to care for.