Whips, Bruises, and Secrets: Should I Tell My Bestie About Her Brother?

Dear Mizz Geena,

I’m in a sticky situation. See, my BFF and I have been close since 2nd grade. We practically grew up as siblings, with our families being super close too. And that’s how I ended up getting to know her little brother – we used to think he was so annoying, but boy has he grown into a hot specimen.

Long story short, we’re now secretly hooking up because, let’s be real, I don’t have time for a serious relationship. He’s totally into me and lets me dominate him in bed. And when I say dominate, I mean totally do whatever I want to him. His beautiful bod is constantly marked with new bruises or whipmarks. But we both know his family would never see him that way – they just think he’s a boring nerd. So we’re keeping our kinky affair under wraps.

But now comes the dilemma – do I keep this from my bestie, who is practically like my sister, or do I spill the beans and potentially betray his trust? Tough call, considering the things I do to him would make her eyes pop out of her head. Decisions, decisions…

Please help,

Torn Between Loyalties

Dear Torn Between Loyalties,

I can see that you’re in a very challenging situation, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling torn between loyalty to your best friend and respect for your partner’s wishes. Navigating relationships that involve close friends and family can be tricky, especially when there are secrets involved. Let’s break down your options and explore what might be the best course of action.

1. Respecting Your Partner’s Privacy

The brother’s desire to keep your relationship private, especially the more intimate and kinky aspects, is something that needs to be respected. Sexual preferences and dynamics are deeply personal, and everyone has the right to decide how much (or how little) they want to share with others, even with family.

His reluctance to share the relationship with his sister might stem from a variety of reasons, including fear of judgment, not wanting to complicate family dynamics, or simply wanting to keep his private life separate. While it’s important to honor his boundaries, it’s also crucial to communicate how this secrecy is affecting you and your relationship.

2. The Impact on Your Relationship with Your Best Friend

Your best friend has been like a sister to you, and keeping such a significant secret from her might feel like a betrayal. The close bond you share means that it’s natural for you to want to be open with her, especially about something as important as a romantic relationship with her brother. However, disclosing your relationship without your partner’s consent could damage the trust you’ve built with him. It could also create tension within the family and potentially hurt your best friend, especially if she feels blindsided by the revelation.

3. Finding a Middle Ground

One possible approach is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how keeping the relationship a secret is affecting you. Explain that while you respect his desire for privacy, the secrecy is putting a strain on your relationship with your best friend, who has been a significant part of your life for many years.

Perhaps you can explore a compromise—such as letting your friend know that you and her brother are dating, without divulging the details of your BDSM dynamic. This allows you to be honest with your friend while still respecting your partner’s boundaries regarding the more intimate aspects of your relationship.

4. End It

Although I suspect there is more to the relationship than just the sex, you did mention in yoru letter that you “don’t have time for a serious relationship.” If this is truely the case, perhaps you should consider if the hot sex is worth all the secrecy and lies? Maybe it is, and if so, more power to you! However, if that’s the case, maybe you should take a closer look at your relationship with the brother. You’ve known him for most of your life, you have a history, and he is “totally into” you. How certain are you that things haven’t already crossed the line into the realm of “a serious relationship”?

The Importance of Mutual Trust

For any relationship to thrive, especially one that involves power dynamics and deep emotional connection, mutual trust is essential. If your partner can understand that your need to share this information is about maintaining trust with your best friend and not about exposing his private life, he may be more open to finding a solution that works for both of you.

Considering the Long-Term Impact

Think about the long-term implications of keeping the relationship a secret. Can you maintain this level of secrecy indefinitely, or will it eventually create more stress and tension? Conversely, if you were to share the information with your best friend without your partner’s agreement, how would that affect your relationship with him and the trust between you?

Final Thoughts

This is a delicate situation, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The best course of action is to communicate openly with your partner, express your concerns, and work together to find a solution that respects both your need for honesty with your best friend and his need for privacy.

Ultimately, your relationship with both your partner and your best friend is important, and finding a balance that honors both relationships is key. Whether you decide to keep the secret a while longer or find a way to share the news with your friend, the most important thing is that you’re making a decision that feels right for you and aligns with your values.

With empathy and understanding,

Mizz Geena