Dear Mizz Geena:

My husband and I enjoy a very active sex life that includes BDSM, but he’s always been the dominant partner. Frankly, it works and when I’ve tried to take the dominant lead, it just doesn’t. However, he’s always wanted to be able to switch and be submissive. He recently found a professional dominatrix, and asked if I’d be okay with him having a session. I don’t have any worries about him cheating on me, I know this would be strictly about the experience, with no feelings involved. I noticed on the dominatrix’s website that she offers a couple’s package, where we would both submit to her during the session. I’m thinking of surprising my husband and scheduling a session. Is there anything I should think about beforehand to make sure it is a success?

Sincerely,
Nervous Submissive Wife

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Dear Nervous Submissive Wife,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts and concerns with me. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your desires and fears, and I applaud you for taking that step.

First and foremost, let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a submissive in the bedroom. I firmly believe that everyone should be able to explore and express their sexuality in a way that feels right for them. However, I understand that it can be difficult to switch roles, especially when your partner has a different preference.

It seems like you are open-minded and willing to try new things, which is a great quality to have in any relationship. The fact that your husband feels comfortable enough to share his desire to be dominated with you speaks volumes about the trust and communication in your marriage.

Now, onto the issue at hand. You mentioned that your husband has found a professional dominatrix and asked if you would be okay with him having a session. I appreciate your understanding and trust in your husband to not cheat on you. However, I think it is important to discuss boundaries and expectations with him before he goes through with this session.

Communication is key in any relationship, and this situation is no exception. You and your husband must sit down and have an open and honest conversation about what you are both comfortable with. Discuss your boundaries, limits, and expectations for the session. Communicate what you are and are not willing to do, and listen to his desires as well. This will help ensure that the experience is enjoyable and respectful for both of you.

Furthermore, I would suggest doing some research on the professional dominatrix your husband has found. Make sure she is reputable and has good reviews from previous clients. It is also important to discuss any concerns or questions you may have with her before the session.

You mentioned that the dominatrix offers a couple package, where both of you would submit to her during the session. Perhaps you could discuss being an “alpha slave” where you submit to her command, but she guides you into dominating your husband. This could be a great way for you to explore your dominant side in a safe and controlled environment.

However, I would caution you to not surprise your husband with this without discussing it with him first. Consent is crucial in any BDSM activity, and it is important to make sure you are both on the same page before diving into anything new.

Another aspect to consider is aftercare. BDSM play can be physically and emotionally intense, and it is important to take care of yourselves and each other after the session. Talk about your experience, check in with each other, and make sure you are both feeling okay. This will help strengthen your bond and ensure a positive experience overall.

Ultimately, the most important thing is for you and your husband to have open and honest communication and to prioritize each other’s feelings and boundaries. As long as you both approach this experience with respect and trust, I have no doubt it will be a success.

I wish you all the best in your journey of exploring domination and submission in your relationship. Remember to always communicate and prioritize consent, and you will have a fulfilling and enjoyable experience.

Sincerely,

Mizz Geena