12 Ways Kinky Femdom Play Can Go Dangerously Wrong
Let me start with the obvious. I like when my boys are sore. A good ache in the thighs after holding position too long, a reddened ass that glows for days, the sting of clothespins being pulled from nipples — that’s pain with purpose. But what I don’t like is when they end up in urgent care because someone got sloppy, lazy, or thought they didn’t need to learn a little anatomy before jamming a strapon where it didn’t belong.
In my considerable years of providing medical care in ERs, Kink Clinics, and even private BDSM events, I’ve seen it all. I’ve wiped tears from submissives trying not to admit they tore their ass trying to impress someone. I’ve seen cracked teeth, concussions, and cock rings stuck so tight I had to use medical shears to save the shaft.
So sit down, subby. Or stand, if your Mistress left you too tender. Let’s go through the damage your horny little body might endure in this life of service, and how to stay safe while still taking everything she dishes out.
EYE DAMAGE
Common Cause: Floggers or whips swinging high. Shoelaces or ropes snapping back. A sudden slap gone wrong.
Why It Happens: People forget that even a harmless suede flogger can fray, and a wayward strand can catch the cornea. Add blindfolds, low lighting, or a moving target and it’s easy to clip an eye.
What to Watch For: Blurred vision, tearing, redness, light sensitivity.
Nurse’s Order: If there’s any suspicion of a scratched cornea, get to a doctor. That’s not a wait-and-see injury. Use protective goggles during heavy play (yes, I said goggles) or blindfolds with structured padding. Never swing upward toward the face.
ORAL DAMAGE
Common Cause: Gag too tight. Too long. Wrong type. Face-sitting without attention to his breathing. Face slaps with rings on.
What to Watch For: Split lips, cracked teeth, jaw dislocation, or numb tongue from extended gagging.
Nurse’s Order: A gag should never cut off breathing or circulation. Never leave a sub gagged and unattended. Mouthguards can be used under gags if slapping or rough handling is planned. Oh, and remove the jewelry before open-hand smacks to the face.
NECK & BREATH PLAY
Common Cause: Improper choking, collars pulled too tight, breath play without understanding carotid compression.
Why It’s Deadly: You can kill someone if you compress both carotid arteries or trachea too long. It’s not about how hard you squeeze, but where you squeeze and for how long.
Nurse’s Order: Don’t do breath play unless you’ve studied it. Not watched porn. Studied. With medical diagrams. The neck is not for beginners. Period.
NIPPLE DAMAGE
Common Cause: Too many clamps, for too long. Tearing from removal, especially if cold. Abrasions from sandpaper-type clothespins (yes, I’ve seen it).
What to Watch For: Loss of sensation, bruising that turns black, skin that tears or scabs.
Nurse’s Order: Time your clamps. 10–15 minutes at most. Massage the area between rounds. Never yank them off suddenly unless you’re trying to make him scream for real. And if the skin is broken, clean it immediately. Chlorhexidine, not spit.
BRUISING & IMPACT WOUNDS
Common Cause: Caning, paddling, slapping, punching (especially thighs, ass, back, chest).
When It’s Hot: When the bruises are intentional, and evenly spaced.
When It’s Not: When you hit over bone (tailbone, spine, kidneys, shoulder blades). When the bruises harden into hematomas.
Nurse’s Order: Avoid direct strikes to kidneys or joints. Stay on muscle. Use arnica aftercare, not frozen peas unless wrapped. Track bruising over time — if one spot turns unusually hard or large, go get it checked.
COCK & BALLS
Common Cause: CBT. Ball busting. Rope that’s too tight. Cock rings left on too long.
What to Watch For: Purple balls. Cold shaft. Sharp pain. Swelling that doesn’t go down.
Nurse’s Order: Balls are delicate, not indestructible. For busting, always warm them up. Start slow. If you’re tying, check circulation every few minutes. Remove all gear if he reports tingling or numbness. And those metal cock rings? Never overnight. If it won’t come off, don’t tug — seek help.
ANAL INJURY
Common Cause: Pegging without warmup. Rough toys. Dry entry.
What to Watch For: Bleeding, especially bright red. Deep soreness. Spasms. Inability to pass gas or stool.
Nurse’s Order: Train, don’t shove. Work up in size. Use lube. Then more lube. Then just a bit more. Clean toys thoroughly. If bleeding doesn’t stop within 30 minutes, or if it hurts to sit the next day, you likely tore something. Get checked.
BURNS
Common Cause: Wax play. Hot metal. Overheating toys. Electric play.
What to Watch For: Blistering. Skin peeling. Lingering pain.
Nurse’s Order: Use skin-safe wax (soy or paraffin, not household candles). Test heat on yourself first. Never pour from height unless experienced. Keep a cold compress nearby. For electrical, avoid broken skin and pacemakers. That last one is not a joke.
CUTS & NEEDLE PLAY
Common Cause: Blade play, careless bondage, zippers, or dull needles.
What to Watch For: Jagged cuts, exposed fat layer, infection, stuck jewelry.
Nurse’s Order: Only do this if you’ve sterilized your tools. Always use clean gloves. Use medical sharps for needles, and dispose in a proper container. Treat every wound with antiseptic. And if it’s not clean in 24 hours, seek help.
RESTRAINT INJURIES
Common Cause: Ropes too tight. Cuffs placed over nerves. Suspension done wrong.
What to Watch For: Numb limbs. Tingling. Discoloration. Nerve pain days later.
Nurse’s Order: Learn anatomy before rope. Never tie over joints. You should always be able to slip two fingers under the rope. Watch his hands and feet for color changes. Never leave a restrained sub unattended.
GENERAL EXHAUSTION & DEHYDRATION
Common Cause: Long sessions. High emotion. Sweat and tears without water.
Nurse’s Order: Dommes — give your boy water breaks. Subs — if you feel dizzy, speak up. There’s no glory in fainting during a scene unless you’re into medical roleplay and I’m there with smelling salts.
MENTAL & EMOTIONAL INJURY
Common Cause: Poor aftercare. Ignoring limits. Humiliation play done irresponsibly.
What to Watch For: Withdrawal. Silent crying. Panic attacks. Regret.
Nurse’s Order: Debrief your scene. Touch, hold, and reassure. Make sure he’s not spiraling. And if you’re not trained in psychological dynamics, don’t do degradation scenes casually. The brain bruises slower but heals harder.
Final Notes from the Dungeon Clinic
BDSM is about pushing limits. But not breaking bodies. If your boy can’t kneel tomorrow because his knees are swollen, or he pisses blood after a pegging gone wrong, that’s not sexy — that’s dangerous.
The more you know about how a body works, the better you can use it. Hurt him right. Hurt him responsibly. Hurt him beautifully.
And if something ever goes wrong, don’t be ashamed to seek help. I’d rather see your embarrassed face at the clinic than read your Domme’s post about how she lost her sub to infection, trauma, or stroke because no one wanted to call for help.
Play smart.
Play rough.
And for the love of kink, use lube.
Thorough. Important.
Two questions: (1) Anal training: I read somewhere that extended stretching of the rectum (depth training) can compress nerves and cause physical damage (I gorget details). My take-away was that day-long wear of the usual butt plug (even when large, like the Snug Plug 7s some of my boys are wearing), is fine, large diameters – such as this – in dildos used for depth training should (1) be worked up to gradually (goes without saying, I think), and (2) not left in place for more than moments or minutes.
I ask because I’ve said our boys are instructed to host Katie’s (5 ft 2″ tall) fist and forearm by Halloween, with a “stretch” (Ha!) to host Rita (5′ 10″ tall) by New Years ’26. Katie tried patrick on Memorial Day and only got in wrist deep. So, we’ve gpt work to do and want to know more about possible physiological consequences.
(2) conditioning cock heads with needles. My groups safety czar – Janice – read that needles inserted through the glans must avoid the urethra (seemingly obvious) but finds little other guidance. Our experience is that a key to success is that there is little bleeding afterward. But is this sufficient? We know there are many blood vessels, perhaps mostly capillaries but can we presume that repetitive intrusion / perforation by needles isn’t causing long-lasting harm?
We are under the impression (again sort-of opening a new road) that repeated penetration of the corona will create localized scarring which can stiffen it (a good thing) without restricting engorgement and erect size (an essential thing). To be cautious, we have kept needles (for the most part) parallel to the shaft’s axis, which means penetrations are shallow, emerging 1/4″ or so up the head and that we run out of corona to pierce. If it isn’t harmful to more completely fill the cockhead, we can get a lot more needles into it and better develop the boys coronas.
If there are questions about why do this at all, we think it may prove to be yet another step toward better endurance – orgasm control. We started this only os Super Bowl Sunday, so verdict’s out. Seems handling this intense sensation, particularly time after time, not just once or twice, and right where it matters, will improve boy’s mental discipline and intercourse performance.
With the added benefit of being kinky fun for the Dommes.
Now, where other than FUM could one ask this question?